Just Think Vol.15: Can you be Friends with an EX?
By A.Evanshttp://twitter.com/AdotEVANS
During a relaxing day at the Druid Hills Golf Club it was brought to my attention that a partner of mine was going to be interviewed about love, life, relationships etc. One of the questions to be asked is "Are you still friends with your ex?" Immediately my brain began running a triathlon. I myself have been in 2 relationships in the past year, and both ended rather bitter, and though in both scenarios we agreed things would be better as friends, it appears one of my exes really wants a genuine friendship while the other says one thing but displays another. Its rather weird because the ex who doesn't really make the effort to be friends follows my tweets, sends Facebook requests and responds to my blog and newsletter posts yet never makes the attempt to hang out or talk on the phone. Which really got me to thinking can you and your ex really be friends and if so what are the parameters?
You Ever Wonder?
When an ex says they think "you should just be friends" what does that really mean? Is it sincere or is it an easy way of saying look I'm over you? If the suggestion is sincere what are parameters of the friendship with out feelings arising? Do you continue to do the things that you did while in a relationship or is there a process of gradual with-drawl to the point that you eventually no longer speak? In all honesty I speak to all of my friends everyday that's how I grew up my friends are my family, so if an ex implies we should just be friends I will continue to reach out to them being kind and cordial, especially if we got along and shared great times. There are however, scenarios where the new found friendship leads to encounters and feelings resurface prolonging whatever is left of a relationship. I'm lead to wonder though; if that is the case why break up to begin with? Why break up or decide to be friends only to end up in the same boat? Is it the concept of knowing that you are no longer fully committed to the person that enables you to do the same things minus the obligatory respect? If that's the case are you really friends? Sounds like a power struggle to me.
Is it really Possible?
Is it really possible for exes to genuinely be friends and have a healthy friendship without jealousy, or the thought of getting back together taking place? Is it a dependency issue of not wanting to let go? Can two people who realize that things don't work out REALLY be friends? Is it possible to talk with an ex about their dating life without being jealous or feeling a certain way, knowing that you once had their interest and now you are just in the friend zone? Isn't it peculiar that the first requirement of being in a relationship is being friends? So what changes? I for one think its not possible, there will always be some sense of falsehood in the air, its almost a compromise to play nice, because if two people don't feel a relationship is working and want to just be friends what were they to each other prior to this sudden decision enemies? I guess the saying is true "Keep your friends close and enemies closer"
What Do You Think?
Marketing Buzz of the Week
By Max Rivers
http://www.Twitter.Com/MaxRivers
Recession Is in the Eye of the Beholder
I recently read a great article about the recession. It was based on research on how consumers deal with spending during recessions and how marketers should take advantage of consumer behavior while avoiding mistakes that can cost your brand image and profits.
Certainly ad agencies are sharing the pain their clients are enduring. But our particular pain is going beyond decreased income and spreading into the solidity of our relationships. Clients are desperate for answers and many are not in the right mind-set to consider solid advice. It is an agency's job to bring clarity to the situation and options to weather the storm. Agencies should be able to show clients that there is still potential for them to fare well and improve the strength of their brands.
Another company that's been making smart marketing moves is McDonald's. While Starbucks is closing stores and dropping prices, McDonald's is rolling out McCafe in 70% of U.S. stores, each investing a hundred grand per store to sell a very comparable product as Starbucks does for considerably less. It is early but McDonald's appears to have struck gold.
The irony here is that Starbucks made everyone upgrade their coffee offerings. Now the competition seems to have figured out the quality part and returned fire on Starbucks by showing quality doesn't have to cost as much.
It seems apparent that the difference in these companies is how each viewed the present world as compared to the future one. Where Starbucks perhaps tried to remain on autopilot, McDonald's looked over the horizon. There is some luck involved: A nasty recession coinciding with the launch of McCafe certainly helped McDonald's, while hurting Starbucks. And it has been observed that the harder you work, the luckier you are. Perhaps McDonald's was working a little harder than Starbucks to be relevant to customers.
| Real Talk: What it means to be a NI**ER Part 2 By Cedric D. Shine http://twitter.com/NativeNotes |
| *The following is the opinion of the writer and is not intended to malign any ethnic group,organization, company, gender, sexual orientation or individual. The views of the writer are his own, and do not in any way reflect the views of the site or other authors in this newsletter* |
| Rewind the clocks back before the Civil Rights Era, after the Red Scare, where if you were communist you were a nigger. No I am speaking of World War II, a defining moment in this country's history where we joined forces with our allies overseas and toppled the Axis Powers who viciously slaughtered those of the Jewish faith and anyone else in their quest for world domination. Let us look into our backyard at today's most successful minority, looked upon as intelligent, reserved, model citizens of this great nation; the Asian. Yes in 1942 here in America the Japanese were considered NIGGERS! Stripped of their land, businesses, and personal possessions, some 120,000 Japanese Americans were forced into relocation centers in the interiors of the country. Placed in prison camps with little to no food to eat, cramped living quarters for large families were just some of the conditions the Japanese had to experience. Propaganda spread through the media about the Japs as they were called, "good riddance to the spy's and traitors", these were some of the messages about the people who had only a few years prior been trying to assimilate into American culture. They too were in search of the roads paved of gold. White farmers benefited with the Japanese farmers gone, they were then able to take over their profit share and make more revenue for themselves. Even the Supreme Court of the United States permitted this racist behavior citing this exclusion did not violate the constitution arguing "it is permissible to curtail the civil rights of a racial group when there is a "pressing public necessity." So much for Justice! Who discovered America? Oh yes I remember we have a beautiful holiday in this country named after none other than Americas most beautiful thief, rapist, and oppressor among other names. Yes I am speaking of Columbus, when we discuss the concept of the nigger we have to speak about our beloved Columbus. You see the Indian; wait a minute what am I saying, Native Americans is the correct term because this is their native land. When we think of all the horrific things done to black people during chattel slavery our bodies quiver with fear. However, we forget that the Native American watched his woman be raped, and his family die from sickness brought by the Europeans. He watched his people become addicted to substances, his name was changed, and not just his name but also his ethnicity. To this day we call Native Americans Indians because of a mistake that an idiot made. We keep this mistake going forth, Native Americans call themselves Indians even; similar to how African Americans call themselves nigger, they have embraced the term. Last but certainly not least the Native American was robbed of his land and certainly his culture. The history that they created prior to imperialism has long been erased and they are forced to live on reservations of land and lay dependent on the powers that be. Americas first experimentation with this Nigger concept was and is still in fact the Native American! So many Niggers over the years, and I use this term loosely for this piece in hopes to articulate the construction of an underclass. That is what it is to be a nigger. Similar to the Untouchables in India, the term nigger is rooted in not only a need for superiority but a mindset entrenched in socio-economic slavery. The ability to legally strip people of the inalienable rights that our Constitution provides for them speaks not only to a power struggle but a constant reminder of who the boss is and what can happen if the system was ever to be questioned. The term Nigger, the concentration camps, the nooses, all of these symbols are objectifiable and measurable elements of what it means to be inferior but deeper than inferiority one must know their place. You see in 2050 the white majority will actually be the minority yet they need not worry because the hegemony and institutionalized racism have made all of the niggers fearful and afraid to jolt the status quo. Nigger is a term of fear; it's a bastardizing moment in an ethnicities history that emotionally, physically, and mentally scars the people. This fear that is instilled takes over the mind yet keeps the body, the nigger is still used for their talents but their mind will never forget that moment and how much they never want to experience such a moment again. Malcolm X once said "If you are a citizen, why do you have to fight for your civil rights, if you're fighting for your civil rights that means you're not a citizen". Niggers are not citizens, at least for the time in which they are apart of the social construct of the term. That is why the Supreme Court allowed the Japanese to be placed in internment camps, that is why we allow our media and public officials of the law to bastardize the Islamic faith. That is why Native Americans are still relegated to plots of land on reservations in a country that they once owned and were illegally dispossessed of this land. So next tie you hear the term NIGGER, or you go out and purchase the upcoming album NIGGER by Nas, be aware that this term has nothing to do with a specific group of people and more to do with a concept of how to control different groups of people. How to make one fearful, and how to make another group feel superior thus always limiting the power of one and expanding upon the power of the other. *The following is the opinion of the writer and is not intended to malign any ethnic group,organization, company, gender, sexual orientation or individual. The views of the writer are his own, and do not in any way reflect the views of the site or other authors in this newsletter* |
| La Familia: The Ex Factor! By Shelli Tinae Price http://twitter.com/ShelliTinae www.themindofshellitinae.blogspot.com | ||||||||||
| First of all, let me say your ex's are in the past for a reason and it's probably best they stay there. I think we should always be moving onward and forward and the goal is to have received a life lesson from your relationship so you don't feel the need to go back. To go back is like saying, "God, I missed what you were trying to tell me, please show me again". If you choose to go back, be a conscious observer the next time around. | ||||||||||
| Our topic Tuesday on "Straight Talk with Ella Bleu," was about being friends with your ex's. It seems that even if people aren't romantically involved, they are still maintaining some type of contact. Generally speaking, people still care about the well being of their ex's and to some degree find it comforting to associate with the familiar; someone who knows and accepts you for who they are even if they can't stand the thought of living with your ass! The biggest highlight is now you can take that person in doses and not on a regular basis. What surprised me the most is that some of these ex's are SECRETS from your current mates. I keep hearing the hook from an old Xscape song when they said, "You're my little secret and that's how we should keep it..." Apparently some things are better off left unsaid but is that silence a form of deception? My advice is to let the cat out of the bag early on in the relationship because at that point you have nothing to lose. Be open about your ex's during the "getting to know you stage". You will gain that person's respect and you will also show that you have no regrets about your past because after all, your past is what made you the person you are today. The ex is only a factor if you let it be. Artist On the rise: LT For more information and bookings visit www.Myspace.com/thanextthangndaaAtlanta Rapper LT, who in his early years was dubbed "Lil Third" (James White III) for continuing the cycle after his biological father and grandfather, is unabashedly not among the norm. Raised in Newnan GA, the son of a preacher, LT aka Spote learned he had an artistic side at the age of nine. However, with little to no supervision, LT found his way into more trouble than he could handle and at age 21 was sentenced to do a two year bid in prison. 
DJ MasterMind Links: www.DJMasterMind.net www.Twitter.com/DJMaterMInd www.YouTube.com/DJMasterMindTV MySpace.com/DJMasterMindTMG DJ MasterMind started his journey as a deejay in the late 1990s, Since then he has graced The Turntables; Rock the masses at Concerts, Nightclubs, Colleges, TV & Radio Shows in NYC, down the East coast and in countries throughout The World. As he is a Deejay and entrepreneur by nature. MasterMind's love and undying passion for music, nightlife, Broadcasting and the entertainment industry as a whole, propelled him to this point in his life and career, and his Main focus is Expansion.  His drive, Talent and determination has allowed him the opportunity to Deejay & Produce Events Nationally and Internationally with such artist as: 50 Cents, G Unit, Yung Berg, Swizz Beats, Reggae & Soca Superstars: Buju Banton, Machel Montano, Lady Saw, Patrice Roberts, Bunji Garlin, Munga Honorable, Bounty Killer, Movado, Elephant Man. All in Places like Barbados, The Bahamas, The UK, the Dominican Republic ,Miami, Buffalo, Syracuse, Albany, Long Island, North and South Carolina, Georgia, Virginia, Connecticut, Ohio & the list goes on & on. He can be found holding residency in Clubs thru out Tri State Area: NY, NJ, CT & Soon Around the World. And to think that DJ MasterMind is only 24- The Journey Has Just Began... **MasterMind Radio** Fridays 2-4pm on 99TheJoynt.com Sirius XM Satellite Radio (The Joint)
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